


Silver Linings

by Kazan



Series: Twisted Strings [1]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Babies, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I said on my profile this would happen eventually, Implied Mpreg, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Mpreg, Stories hinting at a larger picture, the fate thing doesn't yet come into play here, this and this tag should not be put next to each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-09 13:04:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3250733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazan/pseuds/Kazan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a fragment from a much larger story spanning Aoba's life from age 13 to 23, following at some point after Little Shadows. Aoba is 15.</p><p>Some of the canon is changed, and some other things put in for the hell of it, creating a weird and interesting new time line. This probably doesn't do it justice however.</p><p>~~~~I will be cutting and messing with the descriptions of these sister stories because I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to work these before. Excuse the changes.~~~~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The front door slid open softly, the evening air drifting inside with Koujaku as he entered. Listening out, he noted the quiet of the house and the dim light coming from the lounge and he couldn't help but release a sigh. He was not surprised to find the house mostly empty and he could not bring himself to be disappointed anymore. But there was always that hope that he might come home and find a certain scrawny young boy waiting for him, just once more. 

A small whimper and the flail of tiny arms drew his attention and an unrelated set of curious yellow eyes looked up toward their carer unperturbed. 

Koujaku smiled and knelt beside the two infants lying quietly within their bed reaching out to stroke the eldest’s soft black hair. 

"Shinri. Has he be gone long?"

The question he asked was mostly rhetorical as Shinri's only concern was to reach up toward the large and scarred hands with playful fingers and grasp them 

That, and Koujaku already knew the answer. 

He spotted a half drunk mug of tea on the coffee table and reached out to touch it knowing, as he did most nights, that he would find it still lukewarm to the touch. He was perhaps only ten minutes gone.

Aoba had managed to get his timing before Koujaku got home down to an art. Koujaku had tried, in the beginning, to get home to Aoba and the children just before 7pm most days. In the beginning when Aoba had been less than healthy, this had been so important.

As Aoba had realised that Koujaku made sure to achieve this each night, and once his strength has more or less retured, he had started to resume his nightly escapades with the knowledge that someone would be there to watch the little ones soon enough. 

It irked Koujaku, but in the end he could not bring himself to be mad at Aoba. It wasn't entirely his fault that he behaved that way after all. 

It was also perhaps not a well hidden secret that he honestly adored Aoba's children. Brave Shinri, perhaps almost two years old now though he wasn't sure, and little six month old Aiji. 

Shinri was a curious one. He would stare down what he didn't quite understand with those hauntingly familiar golden eyes. A sudden noise would more likely draw his attention, rather than startle him.

And little Aiji with his wisps of blonde hair and eyes of a more natural colour. He was currently asleep beside his brother, breathing softly yet fidgeting as he dreamt. 

They were both beautiful little souls, both from uncertain beginnings. But Koujaku felt some comfort in the knowledge that perhaps from now on they would always have a safe and warm place to sleep, and a far less uncertain future. 

Aoba on the other hand... 

Koujaku gave another tired huff, placing his hands beneath Shinri's arms to lift him into his chest.The little boy gave a whine but snuggled into the warm embrace, closing his eyes with tiredness. 

To the boys credit, he and his children had come impossibly far considering the hardships they had been forced to endure. 

Aoba had struggled through the terrible beginnings of his own young life without knowledge of his origins nor a reason as to how the existence of these children could be possible. For all Aoba had known, it had been something perfectly normal.

The church he had once resided at did nothing to enlighten him to that fact, seeing only that that he was an abomination and acting out to the need of being rid of Aoba as soon as possible. With scarcely an explanation besides that, they forced Aoba out onto the street, pregnant and alone at only 13 years old. 

After Aoba had birthed his second child in a back alley somewhere near the northern district, Koujaku had found him. Or at least, he had finally been able to get close enough to the boy to speak with him.

He had sighted him around town, this scrawny boy who was often in trouble from stealing food. But he had been good at it, and though people had chased him, no one had yet caught him. Koujaku had not in fact known his hair was even blue until he’d spotted him slipping a hood on before disappearing into the market crowd.

Aoba had been suspicious and so very timid for such a long time. 

It had taken a lot of coaxing and trust and a terrible thunderstorm to convince Aoba to come home with him. To simply accept his help. That was perhaps four months past.  
Aoba had recovered from his mild malnourished, since all of his health and energy had gone into keeping his children fed and safe. Since then, he had discovered something else during his time resting at Koujaku's, now that he knew for sure leaving his babies behind was not a risk. 

Aoba had simply discovered freedom. 

Koujaku guessed he was happy for that, but at the same time he worried deeply for the young teenager, and most nights he could not sleep until he heard the sound of his front door sliding open and staggered footsteps. 

It was not a healthy kind of freedom. It was more destructive than anything else.

 

Aoba had spent so much of his time with the homeless that populated Midorijima, had experienced the violence that sometimes came from those that had nothing to lose. He had come into contact with gangs and thugs, had occasionally needed to fight with those who were like him to prevent being forced out of territory by the many gangs that surrounded their gatherings. 

Aoba was now 15 years old, still so young, yet he already bore scars across his body. A large part of him wore those scars with pride. That part of Aoba could name the fights that had inflicted the worst of them. 

Fighting was a big part of his life now, further encouraged by the islands obsession with Ribsteez. 

Koujaku worried constantly for Aoba because of that. 

He knew the boy would come home that night, scuffed up and sometimes limping. Sometimes, he would smell of cologne and smoke, a thing that turned Koujaku's stomach when he thought too hard about it. That was another problem entirely that he fought to ignore.

In the first couple of weeks, a month after he had arrived at the traditional looking household, Aoba had started disappearing each day to god knows where. It used to scare Koujaku witless. He would nag at the boy when he would return in the early mornings, would plead with him to stop being so reckless. 

Honey brown eyes would look away sadly, shrugging a little.  
"I can't just stop, Koujaku." He would say, “It’s not that easy…”  
Koujaku would ask in a quiet, tired voice, "Why not, Aoba? Why?"

After the third time of asking this Aoba had looked up, his eyes suddenly cold and yellow. His lips had pulled back in a sneer, his demeanor shifting from the closed off, submissive stance to something more defensive. Something defiant. 

"Because I don't want to. And you won't stop me."

It had come out like a hiss, smooth and challenging. 

Koujaku had stared in confusion and shock as Aoba had turned on his heel and walked out of the house once more. 

The boy didn't return until the next morning, thankfully with no more cuts or bruises than he had left with. But it had taught Koujaku to keep his mouth shut. Lest he force him further into the dangerous nightlife.

He had worried himself sick about the boy, keeping a close eye on his little ones. Little Aiji had cried so miserably when he had grown hungry in the night, and Koujaku had been forced to mash up a little banana for him to eat in the absence of milk. 

Aoba had shown koujaku that night the possible reason for his survival. The kind hearted and timid soul that cared for his children was only the surface. Beneath lay another person entirely. 

Sort of. 

They called him Blue, for a lack of anything else. He was Aoba, and Aoba was him. Two sides of a coin, separated for whatever reason but still tightly bound to the other. Perhaps such a terrible life had forced Aoba to concentrate all his violent strength into one persona, else he might not have survived that first year living alone. Who could know the reason?

That side of Aoba, the side that gave him those unmistakable golden eyes and oceans of confidence, could simply not be controlled. Not even Aoba himself could control him. 

He loved to fight, loved to look for trouble just to vent his anger, loved to roam the town for something or someone who could occupy his time absolutely.

Aoba would not tell koujaku who Shinri's father was. It filled him with too many memories and too much sadness. 

But he had told Koujaku that Aiji was the result of a man Blue had chased willingly. Aoba could scarcely picture the man, he only knew that he guy was blonde and that was obvious from Aiji’s own hair. At the time, Aoba had been desperate for money and with no other choice, they had turned to only thing that Aoba could offer. 

It was an ironic thing and Aoba was not blind to it, that they had gone out looking for money to make sure that Shinri wouldn't starve. 

In the end, they had only ended up with yet another mouth to feed. 

But not at all did Aoba regret it. 

"They give me a reason to keep going..."  
Aoba had once said to Koujaku, "Before Shinri was born, I was so depressed... I thought about ending it a few times. There wasn't much point to anything. But one day there he was, so dependant on me, it took all of my time and attention just to work out what I was doing. It was terrifying that I was alone doing it but I don't regret him. He forced me to take care of myself and to try and be better.

It's mad how much I love them both. They're only tiny but they act so different from each other. I would do anything for them."

Koujaku admired Aoba. And in some ways, he admired Blue as well. 

He hated what Blue often forced Aoba into, as it was never Aoba that willingly slept around. But they had kept each other and their children alive till this point. It was a feat that could not be ignored. 

So Koujaku would suck it up, come home to an empty house, take care of Aoba's sweet children and wait until the boy he tried to care for came home too. 

He would clean up his wounds, and perhaps they would get a little closer. 

Koujaku was a little ashamed of himself. He wouldn't lie and say that he hadn't slept with Aoba. He had done, and more than once. Both sides of Aoba had insisted that it was what they wanted. That didn't necessarily make it okay. They were four years apart in age and Aoba was not even legal. But what is legal when you've already had two kids and experienced things beyond your years? 

Aoba had been denied a lot of comfort and affection in his life. Koujaku had resisted their advances somewhat at first, but he realised that perhaps a stable relationship was something that Aoba could probably do with. Something quite tender had grown out of it, and something a little more the opposite when Blue got involved.

At the very least, Aoba was faithful to him. Blue could do whatever the hell he wanted as long as it didn't harm Aoba too much, and their little dynamic would not stress koujaku out too much...

 

Koujaku shook himself from his wandering thoughts, bringing himself back to the now. To the child in his arms and to the rest of the evening he would be spending in wait.

He moved slowly toward the kitchen, rubbing Shinri's back with a loving nuzzle into his hair. Something tasty for the little ones would probably be in order. It was likely that Aoba had fed them before he’d left but it didn't hurt to make sure, especially in Aiji's case. He was still a little on the small side, and he tended to get hungry a lot quicker because of that. 

"Shinri, would you like some warm milk?" He asked the toddler softly. 

Shinri wiggled around in his arms, nodding against his neck with a whine. 

"I'll give you something nice as well before I put you back to bed. You've been so good."

Shinri gripped onto him a little tighter, looking up at him shyly. A happy response. 

It filled Koujaku's heart to be able to experience these moments. For all the love and care he devoted to the two, it might have surprised anyone else to learn that they were not his own. That did not matter to him in the slightest. 

Perhaps... That wouldn’t always be the case with his and Aoba’s situation.

He had some suspicions that Aoba was hiding something from him. He was a healthier shape by this point, and as such it would perhaps be harder to tell if the boy had fallen pregnant again. Even if he was, it was perhaps a longshot to presume that the baby would even have been Koujaku's. The man couldn't help but hope. He’d already sunk so much of his time and affection into children that were of no relation to him. He couldn't imagine what he would do if Aoba actually gave him a son. 

So it was hard for Koujaku not to note the slightest bump in Aoba’s usually flat stomach, and to not feel both excitement and shame that his hope for a son was once more at Aoba’s expense. The boy hardly needed anymore children.

He also supposed that a child from Aoba would only result in offering him yet more stress. His mind often travelled to the future, thinking about what ifs. It was not that he was being overly optimistic about his child's gender when he imagined being given a son by Aoba. All of Aoba's children would, technically, be boys. On the outside. In reality, the entire family were intersex. So one day Shinri might have perhaps ended up in Aoba's position, if they hadn't been taken off of the streets by Koujaku.

That thought filled him with sadness and worry. That future could still happen. Aoba was deep in it already of course, and it would possibly only progress from there. Blue would continue to seek out men to satisfy his own desires, and Aoba would be left to care for all the illegitimate children this resulted in. 

Koujaku had tried sneaking Aoba contraceptives to try and give the boy a chance, after speaking briefly to Tae San. 

He had lied to her of course, since he wasn't entirely sure how to introduce this scenario to such a shrewd and logical person. She would have thought him mad.

But after a few days Aoba had grown ill, his hair malting just a little more than it should have, his muscles aching in ways he'd never experienced. Koujaku had stopped giving him the contraceptives in his food almost immediately, and after a few more days the symptoms had passed. 

He could only assume the female hormones had upset whatever fragile balance Aoba's body had somehow managed to achieve, to still have the strength and build of a male yet possessing the reproductive abilities of both sexes. It was science fiction and beyond. But it worked, and changing that composition was a dangerous thing to do. 

He had considered taking Aoba to some kind of specialist doctor to try and work out what hormones could fool his body to stop him getting pregnant again, but the fear then was that Aoba would be seen as some kind of opportunity. There could be people looking for him, the last thing they needed was for Aoba to be kidnapped because of a doctor with a big mouth. 

This of course wasn't the only fear when Blue went out on the streets, but it was the one that was a visible and continuing issue. The solution for the rest would come when Koujaku could convince Aoba to go to a hospital for a simple checkup. Gods knew what the boy had picked up off the streets during his time there.

Aside from that, Koujaku had no power over this situation. He had no right to tell Aoba how to live his life, even if it were in his best interests. He had survived without Koujaku for this long, of course he wouldn't listen to anything he had to say about his health and wellbeing. 

Once again his mind was drifting, going around in circles.

 

Koujaku opened the fridge with one hand, the other safely holding Shinri to him. He found a small fruit yogurt there and took it.

After that, he sat back on the sofa in the lounge with the young brothers, Shinri quickly growing drowsy once he was given his sippy cup of milk. Aiji had woken up during their time in the kitchen on the other hand and Koujaku now cradled him comfortably in his arms. 

Aiji was dressed in a little yellow and brown onesie, warm hazel eyes staring wide up at Koujaku's face. 

"Ah, you are so adorable you know." koujaku couldn't help but say, studying those shining orbs and idly wondering why they were so normal compared to his older brothers. 

Aiji stuffed a tiny fist into his mouth, making a gurgling sound as Koujaku shifted him to sit more upright. He moved the spoon of smooth yogurt toward his mouth, coaxing the fist away, and Aiji took a messy bite at the spoon. 

"There. Isn't it yummy?"

He cooed at the little one for a short while more as he continued to spoon feed Aiji, looking up once to find Shinri passed out in a cosy looking ball on the blankets. That was alright. Koujaku could spoil him tomorrow with a milkshake. It would be his day off afterall.

The comfortable atmosphere suffered in the moments after when the front door slid suddenly open. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the second part of the cut chapter, nothing new has been added.

Koujaku looked up in surprise toward the offending sound. Was he home already? It had barely been an hour.. 

"... Aoba?"

The sound of shuffling clothes.

"...What?"

Ah. 

It was Blue. 

There was the sound of shoes being kicked off, and the soft pad of feet approaching. A mess of blue hair, and it was a mess, appeared in the doorway. 

Yellow eyes met with Koujaku's, and the moment seemed almost tense. 

Sometimes Blue didn't have the patience for Koujaku when he returned home. Sometimes he wouldn't even acknowledge him after he'd walked in, so even this was a hopeful start. 

"I didn't expect you home so early. Seemed like you'd only just left when I arrived."

"Hm." Blue looked away from him as he approached the sofa, eyes falling to look at Aiji when the baby came into view. If Koujaku had not been paying attention, he might not have noticed how harsh gold softened into something warmer. Aoba was not far beneath the surface tonight. 

Koujaku felt his jaw tighten when he saw the gash across Aoba's cheek. The slightly bruising right side of his jaw. A quick glance at his fingers showed bloody scuffs across his knuckles, but that was all. Nothing was broken, he wasn't limping or holding himself oddly. It must have been a quick brawl, and Aoba most definitely had won to get off so lightly. 

"Where did you get that cut?"

Blue narrowed his eyes a little, reaching up to touch his cheek before studying the light smudge of blood on his fingers. 

"Some guy jumped me. Fucker was wearing a ring. But I got him,don’t worry."

Blue smirked a little. He came round the front of the sofa toward the spread of blankets on the floor. Kneeling down, Koujaku watched as Blue reached out and touched Shinri's back. He seemed to relax just a little, his face a little less angry, less strained. The urge was clear on his face how much he wanted to hold the toddler, but he wouldn't do it and wake Shinri. 

Instead, Blue rose and turned on Koujaku, looking back at the six month old in his arms as he came to collapse on the sofa. 

"Gimme."

Koujaku breathed out a little through his nose as he allowed Blue to lift the child from his lap into his own arms. 

"Hey there. I wasn't gone so long today was I? Is that yogurt all over your face? That's pretty disgusting you know."

Koujaku snorted. 

"I'll get a tissue then shall I?"

"No, it's fine" Blue smiled fondly at Aiji, using the sleeve of his new jacket, the one Koujaku had bought him when he’d first arrived here, to wipe the little ones mouth. 

"Aoba." Koujaku groaned. 

"What?" Blue barely glanced at him. His attention was almost entirely on Aiji, playing with one little hand and smiling when Aiji looked up at Aoba's face. The baby gave a small shriek of happiness when Blue tickled him shortly on his side. 

"Nevermind... So why is it that you're home early? I honestly expected to be staying up the whole night."

"Yeah... There wasn't much going on. People are starting to get scared of me you know." Blue looked satisfied at that, rubbing Aiji's back as the baby buried his face in his ‘mothers’ chest, "Having a reputation will be good for us..." 

Koujaku frowned, "How would making thugs angry be good for you? What if they all come after you?" 

"They won't." Blue dismissed the notion with little care, "They'll know better than to pick a fight with us. If I'm out there there with my kids then I want them to know I don't take shit from anyone." 

Koujaku stared at him, shaking his head, "It would make more sense to just lay low and spend the time with your kids. You're safe here, there's no need for you to be out there fighting." 

"I'm not always going to be here though, am I? You wanted to help me, and I'm glad for a little warmth and some food but I'm no lap cat." Blue glared at him, "It's like I've got my own space out there on the radar. If I disappear, I can't just come back again. I'm fighting to keep myself in peoples heads for the future when I make my own gang. I already have some people who are willing, but I have to prove I'm worth the trouble. I'm not the only one who wants to be a leader."

"A gang!?" Koujaku felt appalled. It wasn't the same as with Benishigure or Dry Juice. Their teams centred around keeping the community together and keeping other gangs in line, working as the police failed to do themselves sometimes. They were still new in their operations, but already people respected their work.

Looking at Blue however, there was no way that sort of gang would be his intention. Who knew what Aoba would end up getting himself into. To become the leader of a possibly violent gang... He would be on the front line constantly, being challenged by those lower than himself as well as being attacked by other violent leaders.

In what world would this be safer for Aoba's children? 

"Aoba. Do you even have any idea what you are getting yourself into?" Koujaku's voice rose slightly, earning a sharp look. 

"Nothing that you need to freak about." Blue muttered.

"You are going to get yourself killed! Do you think the others around here are going to like more competition? They will seek you out before your group is even half as big as theirs and they will shut you down."

"They won't." Blue's eyes had hardened back into ice, his teeth bared, "There isn't a soul out there who can even get close enough to kill me. I've beaten up enough of the kids around here to prove that." 

"Right. And is it adults you're fighting or is it actually just kids? "

Blue closed his mouth, that glare intensifying. He was clearly irritated. 

Koujaku laughed once, yet he was anything but amused. 

" So you're making a name for yourself amongst teenagers is it?"

"What, you think that isn't worth something? They all pretty much run when they see me now. I've gained some followers. We all have to grow up sometime. Imagine how many people I'll have following me by the time I'm twenty."

Koujaku shook his head, rubbing his face. 

"You're playing a dangerous game. Even if it is with other kids. I've seen plenty of thugs willing to beat up little kids who think they’re all that."

"Little? " Blue hissed out," I'm almost sixteen."

"You are not almost sixteen. I don't know what day you were born but you are only half way to your birthday at best. It's not my job to tell you what to do. But I am telling you what I know. Alone, even with these other fucking kids you think are allies, you are playing with fire. I'm asking you to think for the sake of you, of Aoba, of your children. Do you really need to be doing this?"

Blue stared him down for a full five seconds, jaw clenched, though his stance was contrasted by the way he still held Aiji so delicately. 

"I need to do this." He murmured finally, glancing away. Koujaku frowned.  
Was that fear he was seeing? This wasn't just for the thrill of fighting any and everyone. Blue needed to do this... But why? 

Koujaku had given Aoba everything that the boy would accept, and that was surprisingly little when he thought about it. 

Unless he was convinced it would all be taken away, Koujaku didn't understand... 

Ah. Well that was just the problem wasn’t it?

Blue was convinced that they would not be able to stay forever, and Koujaku supposed that was true, they needed a more permanent solution for their situation. But he was not about to turf Blue out onto the street again, not without warning, and not without good reason. 

He was fine with how things were. The kids were safe and warm, and Aoba was free to do as he pleased without the fear of losing them. Did Blue think that making a gang was their only backup plan? To be surrounded by homeless kids and eventual criminals to ensure some kind of security in their back alley home? Leaders were turned on all the time. They were targeted by rival gangs, if they were especially dangerous or troublesome they were often forced underground. 

Blue and Aoba would be throwing themselves into the limelight if they went down this road. What were they thinking? As little control as Aoba had over Blue, on the days when Aoba had been at the surface he had shown no opposition to the nightly brawls he would get himself into. They both felt this was a good plan... 

"I'm asking you to reconsider what you are trying to do. I'm a leader, I should know. I've kept myself out of the worst of it, and I'm safe for that. But people still like to come after me. It's never been too bad, but if I am putting up with shit like that when I have done nothing the fuck do you think they will do to you? 

Blue met his eyes once more, something akin to uncertainty there. But his defiance had returned, and Koujaku feared he had already lost him. 

"Once I have the biggest gang on this island, no fucker will know what to do with me. I'm realising… That maybe I can't do this alone." It seemed to almost pain Blue to admit that, "If I had someone on my level to fight with me, I know we will be fine. You haven't seen the half of it Koujaku. I have. I'm not afraid of this life, this is what I want." 

He felt anger rise in him, "And what the fuck about Aoba? What does he want!?" 

"He wants to be safe with our babies. He wants to be surrounded by people who will keep us safe. I'm doing this for him too."

"Ruling over a bunch of kids is not the only way to achieve that. I can give you safety. I don't understand why you can't see that I'm not just going to leave you or kick you out."

More uncertainty in those eyes Anger. 

"You can't promise us that!" Blue's voice wavered the tiniest amount, "We’ve only ever gotten our way because fucking fought for it. Because we worked hard for it. If we make things how we want them to be then we only need to rely on ourselves to keep it from going to shit. 

Otherwise we have to take your word on it. Aoba will never say it but he doesn't trust that you'll keep us safe forever. He's afraid of the time when you will disappear or leave us. It's just better this way. We’re making our own plans and I’ll make sure we get what we want.”

The strength in Blue’s voice was something else. At the beginning of that tryade he had seemed unsure, but speaking out loud only seemed to solidify his resolve that this was what they needed to do. That this was all they had now.

“I can’t convince you otherwise?” Koujaku asked softly.

Blue shook his head slowly, eyes unblinking.

“One day we will be bigger than both Dry Juice and Benishigure. You can stop worrying about us.”

Koujaku shook his head, feeling suddenly exhausted.

“Well.” He turned away, looking down at Shinri instead, “I can’t say I was expecting such a revelation tonight… But I suppose it’s nice to know at least why you keep disappearing…”

“If it helps you sleep at night…” Blue muttered, cuddling his baby close as he closed his eyes.

“I hardly think it will…” Koujaku sighed.  
He sat forward on the sofa, hands on his knees, “I may just go to bed, if you’re not planning on going anywhere else tonight?”

It was only 8pm, but he felt drained, and honestly he wanted to be away from Blue for the time being. An hour or so to read in bed sounded like a fine idea.

Blue was quiet for a short moment, “I don’t think I will be. You can chill.”

“Thank goodness for that.” He stood up slowly, the chair creaking as his weight left it, and he looked down at the pair.

Blue hadn’t bothered to open his eyes again. He looked peaceful for the first time in a while, sitting there with Aiji.

To Koujaku it was a clear show of two personalities bleeding into one. Blue cared for the little ones to an extent, but not as much as Aoba. He was seeping into the forefront slowly as he watched, now that Blue’s job was done and they could settle for the night. It was often how it happened. One soul would slowly give way to the other, like the tide that constantly ebbed and flowed, with neither staying dominant entirely.

 

Koujaku quietly left them, hoping that tomorrow he would be making breakfast for Aoba. He missed the boy so much after such a long day. All Koujaku wanted was to hold him close.

 

He did in fact get his wish eventually. As Koujaku moved to place his book down to finally sleep, the creak of floorboards had his eyes looking into the doorway.

A shy smile and kind honey eyes looking right back at him, Aoba only seemed to glow in the soft yellow of the lamp light, his hands twisting together as he took a step forward.

“Aoba…”

“Koujaku… Can I join you?”

“Of course…”

“I’m… Sorry about today.”

“What for?”

Aoba sighed a little, looking away as he sat himself upon the bed.

“For Blue, I guess… He’s only looking out for us you know…”

Koujaku frowned slightly.

“I can’t help but feel he’s going about it in completely the wrong way.”

Aoba fidgeted slightly, “Yeah… I know…” Looking up at Koujaku, he reached out and took the other man’s hand to give it an affectionate squeeze, “Don’t ever think we aren’t grateful for what you’ve done. I don’t know what we would have done without you, and it’s not something I like to think about… Koujakau.”

Aoba’s expression was almost as defiant as Blue’s, if not a little more reasonable.

“We have to find our own way forward eventually. If we can’t begin to rely on ourselves then we don’t deserve to rely on anyone else. I just want you to trust us. Can you?”

Koujaku felt that there was something more to Aoba’s words than he was getting, but he nodded slowly all the same.

“I do trust you, Aoba, at the least. I just want you to be careful out there and to think about what you’re doing. There’s nothing else that I can say besides that.”

Aoba nodded as he looked down.

“Well, anyway, I didn’t want to bring up that whole mess again I just… I just wanted… Well, we haven’t seen much of each other today.”  
Koujaku smiled at the slight blush that had dusted Aoba’s cheeks.

“No this is true… Are the babies okay?”

Aoba hummed yes with a smile, “They’re asleep now.”

“Good…” Koujaku gave little warning as he tugged Aoba into his arms, holding him close as he rolled them both over onto their side.

“K-Koujaku…” Aoba tensed at the sudden movement with hands braced on his chest, but he soon relaxed as Koujaku placed a soft kiss against his forehead, rubbing a comforting hand along his back.

“You know it’s my day off tomorrow. I wouldn’t mind spending it with you.” He told Aoba, voice quiet.

Aoba grinned and looked away, embarrassed, “You… I guess… I wouldn’t mind that either.”

Koujaku smiled, daring to lean in and place a delicate kiss against Aoba’s lips, pressing a hand to his cheek.

This was perhaps the first time that Aoba didn’t pull away in shock, or hit him, or grow flustered by the gesture. In fact, he snuggled closer still as he allowed it to happen, sighing in contentment when that delicate kiss became something more.

The night was spent in each others arms, innocently enough… and then it became not so innocent. 

It’d been a long time since Koujaku had been this happy and he was certain the same could be said for Aoba. In those few minutes before they fell asleep, holding each other close, Aoba had worn the most serene smile. It was these moments that Koujaku had truly come to love. 

 

 

It was only a couple of weeks after that when everything changed once more.

Koujaku had arrived home after another long day, dead on 7pm as he always did. He’d walked into the lounge, and had felt confusion tug at his heart.

The bed of blankets and sheets that lay in the middle of the floor was empty. Not only that, but some of said sheets were missing, the rest tugged and crinkled in what could only have been haste. 

Koujaku had wondered for just a moment if Aoba was somewhere else in the house, the bedroom perhaps, sleeping next to his children instead. 

The bedroom was empty. The kitchen, the spare room. Aoba and the children were not there.

A kind of panic had filled him; pain, anguish. He had grown used to Aoba being absent most times in the household, but Koujaku had not prepared himself for losing the children as well. He had loved them, loved them with all he’d had despite how little time he had known them. 

Yet with no warning… No warning at all…

Koujaku searched for a note, for anything. An explanation, and apology. 

He found nothing, nothing but yet more proof of their sudden and permanent departure.

From the missing food in the pantry to the absence of the clothes he had bought for the three of them. Aoba had even taken a couple of the toys given to Shinri and Aiji. Of all the things that Koujaku was feeling at that moment, he had sighed out in tearful relief at that. Shinri and Aiji had never known a simple toy of any sort in their short lives. At the very least now, because of Koujaku, they would have something to hold onto in the darkness whilst they slept on some damned street corner.

It was heartbreaking in a way he had never wanted to experience again. That sense of loss and what ifs. What if he had done more to convince Blue to stay. To convince Aoba to stop him.

He simply could not get over the pain of it all. 

Koujaku had honestly thought at the very least that he and Aoba had something between them, something that was enough to keep him here.

But now Koujaku understood.

It had not been the fear of Koujaku kicking the three of them out that had driven Blue to roam the streets every night.

It was that Blue couldn’t possibly stand the thought of being held down, contained, anything but completely free. Aoba had been content, Koujaku knew he had been. Content to see his children safe and happy and to be happy himself in a way he had never experienced. It had been the tender beginnings of something, and now because of Blue, Koujaku might not ever know where it could have gone.

It was not fair that Aoba was constantly at the mercy of his desires, forced to be dragged along wherever they decided he should go. It wasn’t fair that Shinri and Aiji would possibly be lost in that uncertain future Koujaku had feared so many times before.

That Aoba’s new baby would suffer the same fate. 

 

For the few weeks that followed, Koujaku and a few of those closest to him searched for Aoba and his children. From the clusters of houses where he lived, to the dangerous grey of the Northern District. 

They didn’t find them. 

Not until many, many months later.

Not until the late spring had turned to early winter. It had been the last thing Koujaku would have expected for Aoba to be the one to return to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: tried to start removing all of the commas I like to drop in everywhere. They really are unnecessary.
> 
> This is literally just a story for fun (when are they ever not?) so it may come across weird, or pointless. 
> 
> This is some kind of introduction to that much larger story arch. I do know I love writing about babies, and just babies in general. I also know that this was perhaps an experiment to write more integrated Aoba/Sly personalities rather than having them totally split. Having lived such a harsh life, I imagine that the two would get over their petty crap and just get a long tbh.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy whatever this in. It was kinda cute to write so yeh~


End file.
